I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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