she was so not down for the gang bang
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
