Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
