One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
