That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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