Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
