OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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