You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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