What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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