You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
