So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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