found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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