Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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