she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
