he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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