In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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