i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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