ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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