i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
