I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
