Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
