yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you had me at cake vodka
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
