Cold hands, warm shart.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
