do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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