Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
