Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
