Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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