yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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