found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
