How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
