Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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