I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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