where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
