You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
