So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
