There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
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So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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