Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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