yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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