from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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