Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All I want is dick and wine.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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