i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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