I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My liver just had a heart attack.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
