I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
