So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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