My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
