That's when you crack a 10am beer
tell your sister to shave her snatch
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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