just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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