I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
