And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
