If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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