HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
