I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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