I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
