next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dear god my vagina.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
