we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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