you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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