What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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