...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
