Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
