Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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