After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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