So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
