We won't sleep together?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
