i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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