what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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