community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
