dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
