I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
tell me about the fingering
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