i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
