So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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