Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
