I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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