video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
