My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have aggressive nipples.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
