i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
